WHAT AM I BECOMING? WHY?
WHAT AM I BECOMING? WHY?
Why I’m Choosing a Simple, Present Life
Have you ever looked at your life and quietly asked, “How did I get here?”
Not in a panicked way. But in a quiet, aching way—like you’re waking up from a long scroll through life.
I did.
And what followed was a slow, imperfect unraveling… and rebuilding.
I’m 35 years old now.
I’m a mom of two.
I’ve lost pregnancies.
I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve carried regrets.
I replay conversations most people would’ve let go of years ago.
I doom scroll Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube during my “free time,” and then wonder why I feel anxious and disconnected from my kids.
I’ve been that parent—the one who longs to be more present, more playful, more loving—while watching reels that reflect the very life I’m missing in real time.
I started using social media as a teenager, back in the MySpace era, learning HTML in between basketball practices. It shaped the way I saw connection. Relationships. Self-worth.
Now, decades later, I’m learning how to unlearn.
I’m learning how to be a real friend.
How to communicate better with my partner.
How to forgive myself for the ways I’ve fallen short.
Like many couples, we’ve had our hard seasons—times when resentment outpaced kindness, and the road forward wasn’t always clear. But we chose to do the work. And I’m grateful we did.
So I began the journey inward—diving into books, research, therapy, spiritual growth, money, parenting, marriage, and more.
Some days it felt empowering.
Other days it felt like free-falling into the unknown.
But through all of it, I started noticing something:
Small shifts.
New awareness.
A different way of being.
I’m Becoming…
A wife who listens with curiosity, not defensiveness
A woman who sets boundaries and honors her own needs alongside her partner’s
Someone who sees beyond old narratives to find truth and healing
A mother who is present, loving, and deeply connected
A mother who is respected, not feared
A daughter who calls, visits, and shows up in both grief and celebration
A sister who remembers birthdays and sends the “thinking of you” texts
A friend who initiates, compliments freely, and checks in just because
Someone who accepts compliments and believes them
Someone aligned with her soul’s calling
Someone who grows things—plants, people, peace
Someone who learns with joy and welcomes challenge
Someone who crawls, climbs, and moves into old age with grace
Someone who teaches through transparency, not perfection
Someone who walks barefoot in the grass
Someone who speaks to plants like the spirits they are
Becoming isn’t glamorous.
It’s not an aesthetic or a checklist.
It’s a process of choosing—again and again—to come back to the person you were always meant to be.
And if you’re in the middle of your own becoming?
You’re not alone.
You’re in good company.
Take one small step today.
Write down one line about who you’re becoming.
Or just breathe for a moment, barefoot in the grass.